Better Than Worse
Journal Entry: Wed Jul 16, 2008, 7:47 PM
Oh world, what have you done to me now? Picked me up and set me down, it's all too new to me. Emotions stronger than I know, words are more than I can think of at a time like this. And, through all this confusion, through all the tears and the days I've spent wondering, I owe it all to you. Every pain and tear I've ever shed, it's because of you. It's all your fault. And for that... I want to thank you.
I've laughed and I've cried. Everyone feels happiness and pain. It's only human to want and to need. It's only right to feel for someone else. When your alone and cold, where do you turn? You look for the warmth that you so badly crave. I've no intention of making you feel bad for this, oh no. I mean every good intention possible. For you, I've shed so many tears. For you, I've poured into paper and bled out my soul into words. All I wanted was for all these emotions to just go away. I wanted all these stupid feelings I had for you to just get out. And JUST when I thought it was over. JUST when I think I'm over the worst and the tears have stopped, you go and say something like THAT.
You had to go and tell me you loved me?!? How is it that you can do that? Why is it that you can play with my heart strings and not notice what you're doing?! Do you have ANY idea how much that hurts? I can feel too. And as plain as the freckles on my face, I can tell your lying through your teeth. Don't tell me you couldn't see it before. How much I wanted to tell you what was on my mind. 'What's wrong?' you'd ask me. What did you think? It hurt to see you that often. And trust me, I reap the days.
Now you tell me you love me. Oh, what's that you say? I'm so beautiful? You feel the same way? It must be some sort of mistake... No? Quite possibly. Don't see my flaws? Do I love you? PROBABLY. It takes no eyes to see it. It takes no brain to think it. It takes your heart to feel it. Do you feel the same way I do? Can you hear my heart beat quicken with every kiss? I can feel yours. I'm so cold, yet you're so warm. Oh, no, don't... Your arm's wrapped so closely to me. It's been such a long time. Such a long time since I pictured this. And now it's a fantasy come true. A reality so strong it hurts. Don't tell me it's not true, don't doubt my word's when I say, and I want to remind you everyday,
I love you.
- Mood:
Sentimental - Listening to: Hopesick- Louis XIV
- Playing: with my hair.
- Eating: Oreo icecream sammich
- Drinking: Cream soda
Devious Comments
I thought you were psychic for the first 2 paragraphs, and then it stopped XD
Very nicely written.
--
I'm an Idealist. I'm not sure exactly where I'm going, I just know that someday, I'll get there.
Kelly, I promise you that every word, every sentence, every compliment, and everything I've ever shared with you is true, and I only wish I could prove to you that I'm NOT LYING
What would make such a silly idea come into your head...?
I'm sorry for the months of agony I've caused you and I wish I could make up for it, and I plan to....by never stopping loving you.
So once again, it seems I have to remind you that these next three words are not a lie...
I love you.
--
{ i love kelly. }
*Apophysis
=ImagersFractalDDs
I find that, sometimes, just writing what you feel, even if no one else is reading it, helps. :]
--
i've moved accounts.
go visit my new one at *radiorobot-dino
--
i've moved accounts.
go visit my new one at *radiorobot-dino
I meant every word in the best way, trust me.
--
i've moved accounts.
go visit my new one at *radiorobot-dino
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